Music in the background: Fernando Ortega "He is our God"
I often feel that my walk is like that on a tightrope. Terrified of falling off. I likened the balance bar to Christ or the Bible, lending me stability on this precarious journey. Maybe he actually carries me, riding on his shoulders. Me, all the while, more fearful than amazed and excited.
Yesterday evening I related similar feelings to my roomie. Earlier in the day I briefly pondered the parable of the servants and the talents. I figured I was most like the servant who buried his talent. He buried it and went about his own business, doing as he pleased and not following his master's wishes, exactly NOT what a servant is supposed to do. He ignored his position of authority and responsibility. No wonder the master called him wicked and lazy.
But I'm no longer that servant or at least don't want to be. So I have dug up my talent, but fear investing it the wrong way. For the last 2 years I have ran, looked, researched, and planned, but never seem to commit to something out of fear it will be the wrong decision, imagining that perhaps it will limit my opportunity to make a more profitable investment of my life down the road. There is no scenario given for the servant who takes too great a risk for his master and ends up empty handed. Indeed that still leaves me no better off than the servant who buried his talent. I guess that's where prayer and listening comes in. Knowing that HE is a loving and forgiving God, who will always redirect me back onto the right path, should calm my fears. Perhaps its time to let go of some things which I have held onto so tightly. Will I follow thru? Can I accept the forgiveness HE offers?
